Monday, 4 December 2006

The Plough

The Baron and I gave this 1 out of 5.

After fleeing from Simon the Rapist at the Harbourne Stores, we decided to retreat to the Plough Inn, although as traditional gents this would not be our first choice of venue as it is far too modern and overpriced. It met basic requirements for a public house, notably a bar and a toilet for the gent to free himself of discomfort, of which the Baron and I had much having been too afraid to go to the toilet in the presence of Simon the Rapist. This is the public house for the modern, nouveau-riche whipper-snapper, not the type that the generation of I and the Baron might appreciate. Overall thoroughly disappointing, although makes a good hideaway from people who are after your hind.


It contained a bar
Large enough to hide in
Neutral atmosphere
A Christmas Tree


No community
VERY expensive (£5.20 for 2 pints?!)
Disinterested bar persons
Too trendy
Too many fat businessmen and couples
Rubbish decor

The Harbourne Stores Public House

The Baron and I gave this Public House 1 out of 5. It could have been a 10.

Being terribly disheartened by the Green Man on Harbourne, the Baron and I decided to give Harbourne another try and went searching for our next exploit, The Harbourne Stores.
It must be said that this had the makings of an excellent public house, until I, a man of dignity, narrowly avoided a bumming from the local rapist, a homosexual rap-scallion named Simon (second name possibly "The-rapist"?). The Baron was distracted from his enjoyable public house experience by continual pestering from this man and was continually told by Simon how he would like to get into the leftenants pants. Most Distressing. We may never frequent this house again.


Cost efficient drinks (£1.50!)
The presence of Bombay Sapphire gin!
A Pool table (though slightly slanted by a fat boy continually sitting upon't)
Proper Public house atmosphere
Genuinely Irish barman
The presence of obvious 'locals'
Frank Sinatra on the jukebox


The holes ripped out of the seats
No culture
Frank Sinatra being ruined by Simon the Rapist
Simon the Rapist himself
The fear of going to the urinals because of Simon the Rapist

The Green Man

As the first entry to the Leftenant M. James Hen and Baron Von Trumps Public House review, we reviewed the Green Man on Harborne Street.
The Baron is a foreigner, from South Africa you see, whereas I am one of those ex-miltary types you see. We set up this blog as a guide to all thos in the Western Midlands area of Greater Britannia. Although it must be said we are widely travelled gents and may extend our research to the Leeds area, if circumstances permit.

Me and the baron gave this so called public house a 2 out of 5 rating.

The baron and I first noticed the Ale Festival signs on the outer of the building and were most encouraged to enter, However on closer inspection we found it nothing more than some trendy wine-bar, the kind we dislike intensely.


Reasonably friendly atmosphere
A wide variety of Ales and drinks
Friendly Bar Persons


Reasonably Expensive
Poor decoration ( a framed 'don't drink and drive' poster)
Terrible music (RnB etc)
Lack of gins' for the Leftenant and the casual drinker
No community of locals